ontario-counselling-finder

Making Therapy Work for Men

Thu, 16 Apr 2026 19:01:01 GMT

For many men, reaching out for help can feel difficult. Sometimes it’s because of stigma. Sometimes it’s because they are used to handling things on their own. And sometimes it’s because traditional ideas about therapy don’t feel like a good fit.

Not everyone is comfortable sitting in a room and talking deeply about feelings. For some men, that kind of conversation can feel unnatural, intense or even threatening. That does not mean therapy isn’t for them. It may simply mean they need a different approach.

This is one reason quick-access, single-session or walk-in therapy can work so well. It gives men a chance to try therapy without a big commitment. They can come in, talk about what is happening, get some support and decide for themselves whether they want to come back. That first step can feel much more manageable when it is one conversation instead of the pressure of starting a longer process.

For some men, it can be hard to put feelings into words. They may need more time to process what is being said or may feel more comfortable talking first about what happened, what they are thinking or what they are doing. A good therapist understands this. Therapy does not have to start by going deep into emotions. It can begin with the issue that brought someone in, such as conflict at home, stress at work, anger, parenting struggles, loneliness or feeling stuck. Over time, if it feels safe, feelings may come into the conversation.

Good therapy adjusts to the person. It allows more time for processing. It makes room for silence. It does not rush vulnerability. It does not expect everyone to communicate in the same way. The therapist’s job is not to push someone into a way of talking that does not fit. The therapist’s job is to create a space where change becomes possible.

The truth is many men are using therapy when the service meets them where they are. In some family service agencies, men make up nearly half of those using single-session therapy. That tells us something important. Men are willing to come through the door, but the door must feel possible to open.

Taking that first step can still feel terrifying, awkward or exposing. With the right approach, that discomfort can become something useful. It can become the start of clarity, relief and change.

That is why good therapy is worth the effort.

How Do I Know if I Am Ready for Therapy?

Thu, 05 Feb 2026 20:12:49 GMT

By: Susan Somogyi

It is common to wonder whether you’re ready for therapy; however, know that many people don’t feel ready when they start. Therapy can feel intimidating, uncomfortable, and even frightening. That hesitation is normal, and it doesn’t mean therapy isn’t right for you.

If you’re anxious about therapy, that’s okay. In fact, therapists expect it. There’s a saying among therapists: “start where the client is at”. If fear, doubt, or hesitation is where you’re at, that’s a reasonable place to begin. You don’t have to push past your fears before starting therapy. You can talk about them as your starting point.

A good therapist will help you name your worries, understand what feels uncomfortable or scary, and work with you to make the process feel safer and more manageable. Therapy isn’t about forcing yourself through discomfort alone. It’s about moving forward together, one step at a time.

When Therapy Feels Harder Than You Expected

Therapy can be emotionally demanding. Talking about difficult thoughts and feelings can sometimes make things feel worse before they feel better. That doesn’t mean therapy isn’t working; it often means something important is being uncovered.

If you find yourself repeatedly dreading sessions, cancelling appointments, or not showing up, it’s worth paying attention. Sometimes this means the timing isn’t right. Other times, it means the therapist isn’t the right fit.

Talking openly with your therapist about these feelings is important. Many barriers can be worked through together. And if they can’t, it’s okay to pause or look for a different therapist. That’s part of the process.

You Don’t Have to Have It Figured Out

You don’t need to come to therapy with answers, insight, or a clear explanation of what’s wrong. That’s part of the therapist’s role. Your job is simply to show up and be willing to get a little uncomfortable for the sake of change.

If you’re ready to make a commitment to yourself , or to the people you care about, because you want something better, that’s often enough. And if you later realize it’s not the right time, it’s okay to stop or take a break. Therapy is a journey, not a test you pass or fail. Taking the first step is often the hardest part. And while it isn’t always easy, good therapy is worth the effort

How Long Will I Be in Therapy?

Fri, 20 Jun 2025 17:19:48 GMT

By: Susan Somogyi

Some people reach out for therapy with the assumption that they will need years of help, because their problems feel so big. Others come in thinking they’ll try a session or two and realize they want to dig in deeper and stay for the long term. Both expectations are understandable, and both can shift once therapy begins.

There’s no standard timeline for healing or change. It depends on what you’re facing, what you want to get out of therapy, and the resources available to you.

A good place to start is with a single session. Many people find it gives them what they need for now. Others use it as a first step toward longer-term support. If you continue beyond that, the frequency of sessions is something you and your therapist will decide together. Some people prefer weekly sessions to keep the momentum. Others need more time between sessions to think about and apply what they’re learning. There’s no right way, just what works best for you. Your therapist’s availability, your own schedule and life demands will shape this plan. But so will funding.

Access to long-term, fully funded therapy is rare. Most employee benefit programs have a set dollar amount or number of sessions. On average, this is typically about six sessions a year. Many people find this is enough to build skills, gain clarity, and make progress.

For those who need support beyond what is funded and can pay out of pocket, there are options. But for those without benefits or the means to pay, it is challenging. The only option may be to do the work in pieces. This means using what’s available, stepping back to practice on your own, and returning later to start all over again. This can still lead to meaningful progress, even if it’s not continuous.

What matters most is getting started. Whether it’s one session, six, or sixty, therapy works best when you’re ready to engage with the process. It’s about building the life you want, resolving what’s holding you back, and doing it at a pace that fits your reality.

It’s not always linear. It’s not always easy. But with the right support, good therapy is worth the effort.

The Truth About Trauma

Wed, 19 Feb 2025 20:17:09 GMT

By Susan Somogyi

It seems like everyone is talking about trauma. But does everyone have trauma? And does everyone need trauma therapy? These are important questions to decide the best course of action for your well-being.

Trauma exists on a spectrum. Some people experience life-threatening situations like abuse, war, or severe accidents that leave lasting effects on their sense of safety. Others have painful experiences from childhood or adult relationships that may not seem extreme but still leave emotional wounds.

Many people carry these big and small traumas without realizing it. A difficult childhood, toxic relationship, or feeling unheard can shape how you see yourself and the world. Some people move through life without these experiences affecting them too much, while others find certain situations trigger deep emotional reactions.

For those with significant or chronic trauma, the brain may have adapted survival strategies that no longer serve them in a safe environment. If you grew up in an unsafe home, you may have learned to be hyper-alert, avoid conflict at all costs, or shut down emotionally. These responses may have helped you survive in the past, but they can make it hard to trust, connect, or feel at ease in everyday life now.

The idea of trauma therapy can feel overwhelming. Some fear it means being forced to relive painful memories. But healing is not about staying stuck in the past—it’s about understanding how trauma affects your present and finding new ways to move forward.

Good trauma therapy provides a safe space to recognize how past experiences shape your thoughts, emotions, and behaviours. It helps you develop compassion for yourself and break free from survival patterns that no longer serve you. Healing from trauma does not mean erasing the past—it means loosening its grip on your present so that you can build a future that feels safe and fulfilling.

If you’re wondering whether you have trauma and if therapy is right for you, it may be worth having a conversation with a therapist who specializes in trauma. Recovery is possible with the right support and interventions. It won’t always be comfortable, but good therapy is worth the effort.

Therapy Without the Wait

Wed, 05 Feb 2025 20:08:12 GMT

By Susan Somogyi

Have you been considering therapy but are hesitating, thinking you will have to wait too long? You’re not alone. There is a lot of media attention to the long wait times for counselling and as a result, some give up before they even try. But here’s the good news: while some services do have waitlists, there are options that can get you started right away.

In Ontario, the availability of therapy depends on where you live and the type of help you need. For those dealing with severe mental health challenges, referrals from a doctor may lead to quicker access. For others seeking support for mild mental health, relationship, or family issues, family service agencies provide alternatives, and some with quick access to your first appointment with a therapist.

Most family service agencies offer single-session or walk-in therapy. This means you could see a therapist within a week, or even days. Many people find that a single session makes a big difference. It can be enough to get you started in meeting some of your goals for change. If more sessions are needed, this initial meeting can help you explore the next steps, and actions you can take while waiting for ongoing therapy.

For those who can afford to pay for services—whether out of pocket or through workplace benefits—appointments are typically available within a week or two. There are different funding options that may provide quicker access to service if you don’t have the means to pay. These are dependent upon you meeting the criteria for the funding. Family service agencies will explore the options with you and determine if there are such alternatives available to you.

Making that first call can be frightening, but it’s a powerful step. Many people find that just reaching out creates a sense of hope and control over their situation. Therapy is a journey, and taking the first step toward the right door—even if there’s a wait—can set you on the path to greater well-being.

Don’t let the concern for long wait times stop you. Take that first step today—because good therapy is worth the effort.

Let's Talk About Shame

Wed, 07 Aug 2024 17:49:44 GMT

Behind Closed Doors

By Susan Somogyi

Shame is a powerful emotion, lurking in the shadows of our minds, influencing our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. It can often stem from childhood experiences and continue into harsh judgments of ourselves as adults. It leaves us feeling flawed or unworthy. However, therapy offers a path to break the silence on shame, helping shed its burden and re-establish a healthier relationship with oneself.

Shame can lie at the core of many emotional and mental health challenges. An extreme self-critical view traps us in a cycle of negativity and self-blame, damaging emotional and mental health, along with our sense of self. Shame distorts thinking, leading us to interpret our thoughts or feelings as inherently wrong or bad and that no one else has similar thoughts or feelings. The result is feeling different than others, disconnected, and ultimately lonely.

In therapy, a compassionate and objective professional provides a safe space for individuals to explore and understand their shame. Unlike friends or family, who may inadvertently offer advice or judgments, a therapist remains non-biased and supportive. This professional relationship allows clients to view their past behaviors and current struggles with greater context, empathy, and understanding, rather than punishment and self-criticism. This shift is crucial for releasing the grip of shame and beginning the journey to self-forgiveness.

Therapists use various techniques to help address shame, such as asking insightful questions designed to guide you to your own answers. The goal is to help you shed the layers of shame that distort your thinking and replace it with a clearer understanding of yourself. Bringing shame out of the shadows is the first step in building self-esteem and improving your relationships with yourself and others.

The right therapist can help break the silence of shame. This is perhaps one of the most powerful outcomes of therapy, which can positively impact your overall well-being. Uncovering your shame requires taking risks and allowing yourself to be vulnerable in therapy. However, breaking free of shame is worth the effort.

Aha Moments

Tue, 16 Jul 2024 18:03:26 GMT

Behind Closed Doors

By Susan Somogyi

One of the most memorable experiences in therapy is an “aha moment”. These are moments when everything just clicks. They are turning points when all the puzzle pieces of your thoughts, feelings, and experiences suddenly fit together in a new way.

Aha moments may involve breaking old, unhelpful patterns of thinking or behavior. It's like realizing you've been pushing a door when you needed to pull. Once you figure it out, everything changes. This process of unlearning the unhelpful and embracing the new can lead to lasting change. Clients often experience it as more than just learning something new, but like a new pathway in the brain was created.

Aha moments aren’t one-time events—they’re part of an ongoing journey. Each breakthrough leads to more growth and understanding. These moments are special for both the client and the therapist, marking a new level of insight or a new way of seeing an issue, behavior, thought, or feeling. They sometimes bring a deep emotional release, sense of peace or a newfound joy.

Aha moments happen outside of therapy as well. However, one of the benefits of therapy is having someone who is not biased act like a mirror, reflecting aspects of yourself that you hadn’t noticed before. This “mirror effect” is an ideal path to achieving these aha moments where you see yourself more clearly and understand your behaviors better.

Therapy can be rich with these enlightening events. However, not all therapeutic approaches or therapists create the environment for aha moments. It’s important to find a therapist who helps you explore your feelings deeply, asks the right questions, and builds a strong, trusting relationship with you. Aha moments are more likely to occur in the safety of such a relationship.

These insights can be pivotal, opening the gateway to deeper change. Finding the right therapist to support your growth can be challenging, but for those seeking these profound moments of clarity, good therapy is worth the effort.

Family is Worth the Effort

Thu, 25 Apr 2024 03:10:57 GMT

By Susan Somogyi

Engaging in family therapy is a brave step toward creating a stronger and more supportive unit for all family members. Family therapy isn't just about solving a specific conflict. The ways of being together are created over time and become deep-rooted. These deep-rooted patterns of behaviour are often positive but can also create conflict, as families change, or face different life challenges. A skilled family therapist will help your family establish new patterns so that together you can manage future challenges effectively.

Sometimes, people are interested in family therapy in hopes of changing the behaviour of another family member. However, at the core of family therapy is an approach that considers the family itself as the client, not individual members. The therapist will help your family move away from conversations that point fingers at individual family members. A therapist will facilitate conversations in your family that ensure each voice is heard, understood, and valued. To be a strong family unit, each person's needs must be considered.

Since problems within the family affect everyone, ideally, the solutions involve everyone working together in the best interest of the whole family. A therapist's job is to create the conditions and facilitate this work, by getting everyone engaged. Family therapy is a commitment - to each other and your journey of growth. It requires openness, effort, and the willingness to explore and address feelings. The rewards, however, are a stronger, more connected family where each member feels supported and understood. That is worth the effort. And therefore, so is good family therapy!

The 5 Myths of Therapy

Wed, 28 Feb 2024 16:34:09 GMT

By Susan Somogyi

Myth: Therapy is Only for People with Mental Health Issues.

Reality:

Therapy is for more than just addressing mental health issues. It's a tool for those who want to maintain or improve their overall well-being. Whether it's dealing with life's transitions, enhancing relationships (partners, family members, or colleagues), or managing emotions and behaviors, therapy offers support for a variety of personal and professional issues. It is not only an opportunity to deal with life’s challenges or a mental illness, but to prevent issues from occurring or getting worse. Therapy is an opportunity to help you thrive in various parts of your life.

Myth: Therapists Have All the Answers.

Reality:

While therapists bring knowledge about mental health and relationships, their role is not to provide answers but to facilitate change. Therapy is a shared journey where the therapist acts as a guide, with expertise in change, to help you uncover your insights and solutions. The therapist's expertise lies in creating a safe place where you can explore your challenges, understand underlying issues, and discover new paths forward. A therapist will equip you with strategies to manage life's challenges, using your own strengths and inner wisdom.

Myth: Discussing Problems Only Makes Them Worse.

Reality:

Talking about challenges in a supportive, therapeutic relationship can be game-changing. It can help identify the roots of your problems and develop strategies to address them. This process can lighten the burden of bottled-up feelings, leading to clarity, relief, and actionable solutions. It is true that sometimes talking about problems can make it feel worse before it gets better. However, although facing buried thoughts and feelings can be uncomfortable, it is your chance to let them go, along with all the ways they weigh you down. The role of a therapist is to walk alongside you, to help create a safe and successful journey.

Myth: Therapy is a Quick Fix for Problems.

Reality:

It is common to hope that therapy will provide a quick fix to your issues, but real change often requires time, effort, and commitment. Therapy is a process of exploration, understanding, and growth, not a one-size-fits-all solution that instantly solves problems. Progress in therapy depends on the complexity of the issues, your readiness and willingness to engage in the process, and the relationship between you and your therapist. By embracing change and growth as a journey rather than a destination, you can use therapy to be more resilient, deepen your relationships, and navigate life's challenges with greater insight and flexibility.

Myth: Therapy Isn't Worth It If Family Members Don't Participate.

Reality:

While involving others can help address relationship issues, individual therapy still has significant value. A change in one person can, and often does, result in a change in others. Therapy can empower you with insights and coping strategies to better handle conflicts in your relationship, leading to personal growth and potentially inspiring others to join in the journey. It's about gaining clarity, control, and a deeper understanding of yourself, which can, in turn, change a relationship, even if others are not yet ready to join in the therapy.

Therapy is a tool that can help you along your journey toward living your best life. Success in therapy requires your readiness to make change and finding the right match to support your change journey. It is work. It can be scary. But good therapy is worth the effort

What to expect in couples therapy

Thu, 14 Dec 2023 15:18:35 GMT

By Susan Somogyi

If you and your partner are dealing with recurring conflicts, disconnection, or dissatisfaction with your relationship, therapy can help. Therapy can provide a safe space with an objective professional to help you reconnect and create the relationship you desire. Sometimes the expectation of couple therapy is that the therapist will identify the party that is at fault for the relationship problems. In couple therapy, however, it is the relationship that is the client, not any one individual. For this reason, the therapist’s role is to navigate the different needs of each party to facilitate a mutually satisfying relationship.

Couple therapy begins with the therapist understanding the relationship challenges from each person’s point of view. More importantly, is understanding the underlying needs and feelings that drive each person. The therapist will bring these to light through the sessions, to help each party understand themselves and each other better. With these insights, a therapist can teach you and your partner how to navigate these differences, finding real solutions that work for both of you.

So, what if your partner won’t come? Encouraging someone to try counselling can have a good outcome, but trying to force someone is not advisable. Start with yourself. Sometimes a change in one person's behavior can create a change in another. It is also not uncommon for one party to start counselling, and then the other party joins. Either way, you will get the help you need to create change for yourself, whatever that may be.

Not all couple therapy ends with a mutually satisfying relationship. Therapy may help one or both parties come to a decision to end the relationship. In these situations, the therapist will help the couple navigate a constructive separation. This is especially important if children are involved as the relationship only changes form, it does not end.

Relationships are difficult. Having an unbiased third party to help you navigate the challenges and support your goals for change can make a difference. You may be surprised at how quickly change can occur. It takes hard work and an investment of time to create meaningful change in therapy. But good therapy is worth the effort.

Solve your own problems in therapy

Thu, 14 Dec 2023 15:18:00 GMT

By Susan Somogyi

“I solve my own problems.” This is a phrase often uttered by someone who has been advised to try therapy. For therapists, the answer to this question is, “We think so too.”

There is a myth that therapy is an opportunity to get advice. Based on this logic, therapists have all the answers, knowing what is best to solve the personal, emotional, and relationship challenges of others. It is true that therapists are experts, with years of experience and training. However, they are experts in change, not life.

Therapists do not solve problems for others. If you find yourself with a therapist who is providing you with advice, proceed with caution. The best therapists are those who know that people have their own answers. From there, they support the journey of change for people experiencing a life challenge that has gone beyond their current abilities to cope. There are a variety of tools therapists use to support change.

1. Creating safety

People often get stuck because they become overwhelmed by or disconnected from their feelings about a situation. Once this occurs, they stop thinking from their logical brain, so the answers are difficult to see. Creating the time and having a safe place to allow the feelings to surface, can clear the fog. When feelings are connected and calm the solutions can be obvious.

2. Asking the right questions

Great questions are the therapist's greatest tool to support change and most therapists have a toolbox full of them. Questions can help people understand their situation or challenge from different angles, which may result in revealing the solution. Rather than having the answer, a good therapist gets curious and asks the questions that lead the way to change.

3. Creating a plan

Once the feelings are resolved, and the thinking is clear it is time for action. A therapist can support you in creating and following a plan of change. There is no one right plan to meet your goals. Plans are customized to meet the unique needs of each person. However, therapists often have great ideas to consider for your action plan because they have the advantage of walking alongside many others who have successfully created plans and met their goals.

So, if you thought therapy would be as easy as talking to an expert and getting advice, you may be disappointed. Therapy takes some effort to find your own solutions and create a plan that will work for you. However, with the right therapist, change is possible. So even though you will solve your own problems, good therapy is worth the effort.

Why do I need therapy when I’ve got friends?

Thu, 24 Aug 2023 15:22:02 GMT

By Susan Somogyi

Sometimes all you need is to talk about your feelings with a trusted person. If you are lucky enough to have that person, then therapy may not be what you need. However, sometimes friends and family are not able to provide the right support. Friends and family may want to give you solutions, because it is so difficult for them to see their loved ones in pain. Although well meaning, providing advice, or letting you know what you did wrong that led to your circumstances, is not helpful when you are struggling with difficult thoughts and feelings. Although friends and family can be a great support during a difficult time, here are some reasons why you may choose therapy instead of, or in addition to, the help of loved ones.

When dealing with personal, emotional or relationship challenges, if you are feeling stuck and the support of others did not result in lasting change, it may be time to consider professional help. A therapist can help you discover the reasons your efforts have not resulted in your desired change. It may be underlying thoughts and feelings getting in your way. In a safe environment, with the right questions, you and your therapist can uncover and address these thoughts and feelings.

Another time to turn to a therapist is when the issue is chronic or complex. A therapist will help you develop a comprehensive plan for change, including connecting you to additional services if needed. This plan will likely include ways to address your behaviours, feelings, and thinking patterns. It may also include relationship therapy to ensure your loved ones are supporting your change.

Finally, you may not be comfortable sharing your deepest or more intense feelings with friends or family. The most important job of a therapist is to create a safe space for you to peel off the layers to get to the root of the problem. Typically, solutions start to present themselves once those intense feelings are resolved.

A therapist’s job is not just to listen, and it isn’t to give advice. A therapist’s job is to ask you the right questions that can help you find your own answers. With a safe place and some work, meaningful and lasting change is possible. And that’s why therapy is worth the effort

When nothing happens in therapy

Thu, 22 Sep 2022 13:57:39 GMT

By Susan Somogyi

“I tried therapy once; it didn’t work for me”. It is sad to hear that someone has given up on therapy due to one experience. Therapy may not be the right solution for you, however there are many reasons for a lack of change. Some of the reasons include:

1. The approach

It may be that your therapist is not using the right approach for you. Most therapists have a variety of strategies to help support change. Your therapist may have simply misjudged your needs and chose the wrong strategy. Let your therapist know if you are not finding the service helpful. A good therapist will explore this with you to figure out how or if they can adjust their approach. If not, they can support you in finding another therapist that may better meet your needs.

2. The therapist

You may have the wrong therapist. Research shows that most important in creating change is the relationship between the client and the therapist. Like any other relationship, a good match is the key. It can take time to find the right match. Don’t give up and trust your instincts. Take some time to think about what you like and don’t like about your experiences with therapists so far. Some therapists will allow you to talk with them before starting service, to determine if it is a good match.

3. The timing

Timing is everything and this may not be the right time for you to create the change you desire. Even when someone is motivated for change, other life events can take priority or get in the way of change. Taking a break and revisiting therapy at another time may be the solution.

4. The circumstances

Sometimes the change we want to create in our lives is undermined by our loved ones, who are frightened by the change. You may be ready for it, but they are not. As a result, every step forwards, can end up being a step back the moment you are with family or friends. Talk to your therapist about this to explore potential solutions. It may be helpful to have loved ones join a session or to engage in relationship therapy with them. You may also need to learn how to put boundaries on your relationships so that they don’t undermine your change.

There are many reasons why therapy doesn't work. Before you give up on all therapies, consider the approach, the therapist, the timing, and your life circumstances. Therapy is hard work that does require the right conditions. However, good therapy is worth the effort.

What to expect my first time

tim@caredove.com (Tim Berezny) — Thu, 22 Sep 2022 13:57:39 GMT

By Susan Somogyi

People are sometimes hesitant about therapy out of fear of what to say in their first session. The first time in therapy can be scary, and therapists understand this. In the first session, the therapist’s job is to orientate you to therapy and work with you to begin mapping the journey ahead.

Completing the necessary paperwork will take some of the time in the first session. This paperwork includes ensuring you understand your rights and your responsibilities related to therapy (e.g., fees, if applicable, and cancelation notices). The paperwork is also to help you understand how your therapist and the agency will protect the privacy of the information you share. So, for the first while, you just need to sit back and let the therapist take the lead.

Once the orientation is done, the therapist will ask questions to have a better understand of the issues that brought you to therapy. Each therapist has a different approach, and therefore asks different types of questions. Some will want to understand who you are in the context of your family, community, and culture. Some will focus only on the present situation, and therefore ask questions about your current life circumstances. Others ask more questions about the future, to ensure a full understanding of what positive change would look like for you. Usually, therapists will use a combination of all three of these types of questions.

You may not know the answers to all the questions, and that’s okay. It is helpful for the therapist to understand what you don’t know too. Good therapy should always start where you are, in your life’s journey, and help you take steps from that point. Typically, by the end of the first session, you and your therapist should be clear on the direction of therapy so that you can begin to take action towards the change you desire.

If you don’t feel confident about the therapist’s approach, let your therapist know. This type of feedback is helpful because therapy is not an exact science. It is an opportunity to explore strategies that are known to create positive change. Your therapist is an expert in change, not an expert in you or your experience. Therefore, together, in a safe environment, you and your therapist can use this expertise to find the solutions that best meet your needs. It’s a journey. It requires taking risks. It is hard work. However, good therapy is worth the effort.

Understanding psychotherapy

Thu, 22 Sep 2022 13:57:38 GMT

By Susan Somogyi

There are many misunderstandings about psychotherapy, including that psychotherapy and counselling are the same. While the words are often used interchangeably, psychotherapy is a controlled act, which means it can only be provided by a registered professional and must follow the rules set within the act. According to the College of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario, psychotherapy occurs within a psychotherapeutic relationship that aims to create positive change in thoughts, feelings, behaviours, and social functioning. What is Psychotherapy? – College of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario (crpso.ca)

Psychotherapy is an opportunity to explore and resolve the root of a problem. It is not about getting advice or answers. Through psychotherapy you can gain new insights and see problems or issues from new angles. This can lead you to your own answers. A psychotherapist can help clear the fog caused by your intense feelings and unhelpful thinking patterns, resulting in what is commonly called an “aha moment”. This in turn clears the fog, showing an obvious path forward.

There are dozens of approaches to psychotherapy. Some therapists may specialize in a single approach, while others use different tools from each approach. Ideally the approach used is the one which best meets your needs, based on your issues, preferences, and unique traits. Knowing what is best can require trying different therapists. If it doesn’t feel right, move on and when you find the right match, trust that you will know.

Regardless of the approach, here is what you can expect from psychotherapy.

A safe and welcoming place where you feel heard and understood.
An opportunity to safely explore your own thoughts and feelings without judgement.
Support in discovering your own answers, rather than getting advice.
An opportunity to better understand your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours.

Psychotherapy is not an exact science but an opportunity to explore proven strategies to bring about positive change. While it should feel safe, it is not always comfortable. Real change requires getting uncomfortable and sometimes people experience their problems as getting worse before it gets better. It is hard work. However, good therapy is worth the effort