When nothing happens in therapy
“I tried therapy once; it didn’t work for me”. It is sad to hear that someone has given up on therapy due to one experience. Therapy may not be the right solution for you, however there are many reasons for a lack of change. Some of the reasons include:
1. The approach
It may be that your therapist is not using the right approach for you. Most therapists have a variety of strategies to help support change. Your therapist may have simply misjudged your needs and chose the wrong strategy. Let your therapist know if you are not finding the service helpful. A good therapist will explore this with you to figure out how or if they can adjust their approach. If not, they can support you in finding another therapist that may better meet your needs.
2. The therapist
You may have the wrong therapist. Research shows that most important in creating change is the relationship between the client and the therapist. Like any other relationship, a good match is the key. It can take time to find the right match. Don’t give up and trust your instincts. Take some time to think about what you like and don’t like about your experiences with therapists so far. Some therapists will allow you to talk with them before starting service, to determine if it is a good match.
3. The timing
Timing is everything and this may not be the right time for you to create the change you desire. Even when someone is motivated for change, other life events can take priority or get in the way of change. Taking a break and revisiting therapy at another time may be the solution.
4. The circumstances
Sometimes the change we want to create in our lives is undermined by our loved ones, who are frightened by the change. You may be ready for it, but they are not. As a result, every step forwards, can end up being a step back the moment you are with family or friends. Talk to your therapist about this to explore potential solutions. It may be helpful to have loved ones join a session or to engage in relationship therapy with them. You may also need to learn how to put boundaries on your relationships so that they don’t undermine your change.
There are many reasons why therapy doesn't work. Before you give up on all therapies, consider the approach, the therapist, the timing, and your life circumstances. Therapy is hard work that does require the right conditions. However, good therapy is worth the effort.
